NKzOwnWords

IF YOU'RE EVER IN THE DC UREA

2008-08-13T16:19:00.003-04:00

Come check us out!

Every Thursday

8-11pm

The Artmosphere Cafe

3311 Rhode Island Ave

Mt. Ranier, MD

Good Times Michael Evans dance

2008-04-04T14:14:00.001-04:00

FEELS GOOD TO LAUGH

2008-01-30T14:41:00.000-04:00

I mean...this is like the concert of my dreams!!!!!!!!!!

N.E.R.D?...What?...I wonder if they have something new coming out....

Lupe?....What?.....

And Rihanna bringing that "feminine but can still hang with the fellas" flavor!....I can't wait!

Post those tour dates now, glowinthedarktour.com!!!! Right, Now!!!

I AM SOOOOO THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-01-30T13:31:00.000-04:00

She BAAAAAACK!!!!

2008-01-09T12:11:00.001-04:00

And like she never left!

BRING IT!!!!!

2007-12-07T11:09:00.001-04:00

ShUT Up AnD SiNg GiRL!!!!!!

2007-11-09T14:09:00.001-04:00

She betta go 'head!!

SPEAK TO ME ALICIA!!!!

2007-11-08T14:05:00.000-04:00

He broke my heart
and now its raining
just to rub it in
i'm at your door
I feel so crazy about it
you'll say I told you so
you saw it long ago
you knew he had to go
I finally came around
i'm back on solid ground
cant let it get me down

its alright
its alright
its alright
its alright
its alright
its alright
its alright

yes I was burned, but I call it a lesson learned
mistake overturned, so I call it a lesson learned
my soul has returned so I call it a lesson learned
another lesson learned

sometimes
some lies can take a minute to fully realize
his tears
your eyes
thirty seconds to apologize
you'll give him one more chance
just like the time before
but he already knows
you'll give 100 more
until that night in bed
you'll wake up in a sweat
you're racing to the door
can't take it anymore

I was burned but I call it a lesson learned
mistake overturned, so I call it a lesson learned
my soul has returned so I call it a lesson learned
another lesson learned

lifes perfect, aint perfect if you dont know what the struggles for
falling down aint fallin down if you don't cry when you hit the floor
it's called the past cause i'm gettin past
and I aint nothing like I was before.
you ought to see me now

yes I was burned, but I call it a lesson learned
mistake overturned so I called it a lesson learned
my soul has returned so I call it a lesson learned
another lesson learned

ANOTHER YEAR

2007-11-01T16:30:00.000-04:00

I am so blessed
one more year of life
24
i used to dream about what it'd be like
what it'd be like to be grown
HA!
it's almost laughable now!

I'll have to make this year count

THANK YOU LUPE!

2007-09-28T10:29:00.001-04:00

Finally someone says it all!

2007-09-14T08:57:00.001-04:00

It's gonna be a rough, hard weekend, i can feel it

I need to find something to distract me

The day has already started off rough

It's only 9 am.

How am I supposed to get through this?

And why do I feel like I'm the only one that's hurting?

Would I feel better knowing that I'm not the only one?

This is all very new for me

And I don't want to ever go through anything like this again

Is that realistic though?

My co-worker asked me why I was moping around today.

I didn't know I was moping

Don't want to be a moper

That's pathetic...moping

I just need some closure

Something

Anything

Why can't I get that?

Does it mean I have to find closure within myself?

That's dumb...and too damn deep for me

I need face to face closure

I need you to LOOK ME IN MY FACE AND SAY IT!

You must not want to give me the satisfaction

Is this all a part your little game

I'm just being sucked right in

I really need to get a backbone

I never realized how weak I can be

This is all so new for me

Guess it had to happen sometime

Everybody has to go through it once, right?

But do they though?

I wonder if there's anyone who has never gone through it?

I just really need to get it together

I thought I was ok

I guess it depends on the day

or the hour

Ok, the more I write the more it hurts

I'm stopping

To Feeling Great!

2007-08-23T10:08:00.000-04:00

I'm really gonna do it this time guys. Remember my break down and my flashback. Well I'm finally going to get it together. I'm dropping this excess weight and am gonna be a healthier, happier, sexier me. :)

Thanks to some fabulous girls (shot out Nationwide Fitness Club) and Sparkpeople.com (shot out jennwill) things are gonna happen.

I can't wait to have to not tilt my full length mirror to make myself look good before I walk out the door. (pathetic, I know) I can't wait to stop buying/looking for blouses and shirts with a little more room in the belly area. I can't wait for more energy. I can't for a cleansed system and healthy skin. I can't to feel great.

And it's already started!

So get ready people. Get ready January Carribean vacationers. I plan on having a blast and looking good while doing it! When we get on that boat, ladies, let's toast to Feeling Great!

Weekend in Review

2007-08-20T11:36:00.000-04:00

Friday- Got off work early to take the trip down to Richmond to see mine and your girl. (sorry, my retarded butt forgot my camera at a friends house)....I thought she was gonna be off the hook like so. But she was cool. The venue was outside, so it was hot but very chill everybody had their lawn chairs and blankets ready to party. Eric Roberson opened the show...he was ok. I think we may have been sitting too far away (thanks to I-95 traffic on a friday evening) to really capture to moment. And the food....Oh my...(shout out to the national weight loss program)...they had EVERYTHING....fish, shrip, kabobs, funnel cake, snow-cones, drinks, and dranks :)....it was marvelous. We hit the road that same night...got in around 2...which was pretty good considering.

Saturday- My aunt, mother, father were off with my sister to move her into her new apartment for her last year of school. SHEESH! My lil' sis is a senior in college...man o' man..time surely flies. AND I HAD THE HOUSE TO MYSELF FOR A WHOLE TWO DAYS!!!!!! (BTW I need to move out pronto :))....I did nothing all day...later that night I had a wedding gig in Baltimore...We got a new male (at least I think he was male) singer. This guy teaches dance. He was all over the place....dancing with all the white folk at their formal wedding....very corny...very extra...I was very annoyed....but apparently that's what the band leader wants....I won't be with this band very much longer...not my style.

Sunday- Church and then nothing..for the rest of the day into the evening into the night...folks came back around 8:30...I enjoyed my loneliness this weekend.

Jill Scott

2007-08-10T09:06:00.001-04:00

I CAN'T WAIT! SEPT. 25!

Ok FINE!!!! (TC and JAC)

2007-07-30T15:42:00.000-04:00

I'm not posting no rules, cuz I'm not doing this ever again.

1. Sometimes I secretly wish I was a bird...(stop laughing). Like, how amazing would it be to just fly around all day long! The freedom...the sights....the easy living....

2. Perrier water is my new "I can't live without it" thing. I just feels so cleansing. If I over-eat, it just breaks down all that food for me. Let's me breathe again.

3. I've been having these nightmares lately. I find it so fascinating how real they feel....I wake up and I feel like I'm still in it. BTW: I have this re-occuring nightmare once a year or so since I was a little kid. Wonder what that means? Not telling what it's about.

4. My grandmother went on a plan and on a cruise for the first time in her life this past weekend. Can you imagine? Living on earth for almost 80 years and NEVER needing to get on a plane. It just shows how privileged most of us can be....to have a REASON to get a plane and much more be able to get on one. Don't know why, but I was so proud of her when she called from Miami before she boarded the ship.

5. I don't like to talk (most of you who know me already know). Sometimes (most of the time) I just don't feel the need. I often think, "what's the point?"...why?" I think soooo much though. And I don't mind writing at all...in fact...I like it a lot....I just hate to talk about stuff. I just think it should be more private sometimes, like, NO one should know about it. So if I ever tell you something about me......Feeeeeelings, and Eeeeemotions....umph....EEEWWWW, just know you must be pretty special to me. LOL

6. Gotta get the HELL outta this 9-5

7. I'm such a mix of girly and tough....Like, I need a manicure every week and a half...but I'll belch one those loud dirty nasty ones in a heartbeat...and I like frilly blouses with bows and lace just as much as like dark and dingy with holes and graphics....and I'm not fighting unless the heffa's on the ground (LOL! TC) but I'll play some basketball or toss a football with the guys every once-in-a-while (not saying I'm any good...just having a good time)

8. I'm pretty good with kids ages 2-12. Just as long as they're old enough to tell me what they want and young enough where that teenage attitude hasn't kicked in I'm all good. Kids LOVE me!...Maybe it's because I act like a big one from time to time....I can get quite silly, ya' know.

N E Way! JAC, TC, are you happy. There it is!

I Still Love This Man

2007-07-16T11:12:00.001-04:00

Remeber This?! He made you feel it in your soul. Because of songs like this, he can NEVER be touched. NO ONE will ever live up to him.

Loving This Girl More and More

2007-06-21T17:15:00.001-04:00

Could it be the black hair and cut?

IDK...this is really fly to me.

BABY BOOOOOOM!!!!

2007-06-15T09:28:00.000-04:00

I just realized the other day....

I can count on one hand how many of my homies from high school DON'T have kids or aren't already pregnant. Am I getting old, or is this something that is the product of our generation? I used to think it was the latter, but when you really do think about it...Most of the homies are 24-27 now. Most people begin to have children around this age.

I always said I wanted to start having kids between the age of 25-28, but not that age is vastly approaching....it's like WOW! I don't know if I'll be ready!

I think the real issue is not many of my homies are married, or even thinking about marriage. I think that may be the real phenomenon. When my dad was pregnant with his first child, it was basically known what the outcome would be...."You get pregnant, you get married." Needless to say, not many of our young adults think that way anymore and they unfortunately end up with crazy baby daddies and mommas that they'll have to deal with for the rest of their lives....shooooot, that's a marriage in itself.....a disfunctional one...

Great Weekend

2007-05-29T17:38:00.001-04:00

I had a wonderful time this weekend with me and the homies. I needed this mini-vacation in ATL. But now, back to the real world :(

We're such tourists aren't we?

The hotel kept deceiving us with these gorgeous apples that tasted like mush.

Chillin' in VIP at The MARK

Leaving this wonderful restaurant called "RARE". Soulfood Tapas....mmmm, mmmmm!!
We threw ourselves a pool party! No wet hair though?!

The "Workplace"?

2007-05-18T10:32:00.001-04:00

I found out today that the world is a deep, dark pit of deception and hedonistic behavior.

I work for a small, but steadily growing company. I came to the office this morning and later discovered that I've been sitting at my desk with my eyes closed. These people in here are off the hook!

If I had taken the time to focus in on the underlying issue and situations that have been occurring, I wouldn't be so lost right now. These people are freak, nasty folks. Everybody is sleeping around. Cheating on their families. I mean they're in here doing some soap opera type stuff. And I'm sitting here like...DAMN! WHERE HAVE I BEEN for the past 3 months?

The CEO is a "nose bleeder" who gets drunk and hits on and sleeps with his secretaries. People are up in here passing around video tapes of them having sex with a co-workers wife. Females are being hated on by their female superiors, sexual harrassment is running rampid.....I mean the list goes on and on.

And all I can do is sit here with my mouth open. Trying to wrap my mind around the fact I'm in this explosive environment and I had NO IDEA! I must be really dense.

And then, I wonder...Americans spend too much time at work. Some of the folks here work 12 hour days. When you spend so much time with a group of people, can't you expect for things like this to go on? This company has office gatherings/parties at the pub down the street. That has to contribute to what's going on, right? We also can dress however we like on any given day. That has to contribute as well, right? They are also in the business of hiring people who there friends instead of hiring a more qualified candidate for the position.

But don't get me wrong the business is thriving. It is in no way lacking in that respect. But I wonder how well it COULD be doing if so many of these problems were ommitted.

America. That's exactly what it is.

In most foreign countries people don't spend nearly as much time in the workplace as Americans do. They go to work less hours a week and spend more time with their wives, husbands, and children. They have more time to build that familial foundation and have less opportunity to tear/break it down.

It's saddening. And I'm almost glad I've had blinders to this whole thing. That means I'm not a part of it. That means these crazy folks around here don't see me as the type to participate. Cuz lawd knows I got enough to deal with than to be bothered by personal stuff between co-workers.

7 Hours People!!!!!

2007-05-04T09:49:00.000-04:00

I decide, two weeks ago, that i want to change my look a bit. I'm taking pics tomorrow as a part of my focused mode so I wanted to look and feel fresh. I scheduled the appointment for 6:30pm. I arrived on time, if not, earlier. Do you know I didn't get home until 1:30am!!!!!
A.M. ! People.
Pissed, is not an accurate description. This island man had me sitting and waiting on him for 5-6 hours!

Now call me spoiled, but my girl, Val (my regular hairdresser) has me IN and OUT. If my appointment's at 6:30 I can expect to leave BEFORE 8:00. AND I'll pay less than half of the price I paid last night (this morning)!

So, I arrive at 6:30 only to discover there are 5 heads in front of me. Mind you I've never been here before so I'm thinking...."maybe he moves pretty quickly"...I should be out by ten. I have a date with my dahling later on.
Guess again, you say!
I'm watching, like ...."this dude is really taking his time...as if it's not 10:00 in here!" He's on the phone, he's on the computer, he's having conversations. Now if I'm waiting on someone for a service, it behooves them to remain silent and continuously work, even if your working slow...I'll know your still working.

Laughing, Conversation, Eating, Sighing, The closing of ones eyes to signify exhaustion.....these are all things that make me want to cuss my service provider out after I've been waiting for toooooo long.

Around 9:30, I realize that if I'm going to eat anything at all I better get something. I gather my things to prepare to take the walk down U Street to Ben's Chilli Bowl (looking like a H.A.M. with my hair blown out) And this dude has the nerve to ask me where I'm going and if I could pick him up a turkey sandwich.

Now, this may not seem to be a big deal to any of you but after you've spent 4 hours cussin' somebody out in your head, when they ask you a favor, it's almost infathomable.

Finally! 11:30. I'm in the chair. I immediately smell this hot, funky stench. It's dude's breath. He's cutting my bangs and blowing the hair off of my face with penetrating gusts of wind that he conjured up from way down deep in his intestines. He must've seen my funky face cuz after a few times he finally decided to use the hair brush to get rid of the cut hair.

It's now 12:00am. We're the only two in the shop and he begins to sing and hum and do that "Night at the Roxbury" dance. Then he asks, "Do you know Jesus?" I reply, "Yes sir"....he continues, (island accent) "May the Lord be rid of the thing that ConCerNED, this chil' "..... I'm like, "oh yeah?"....you better watch out homie, cuz all that's on my mind right now, is you.

Then he baited me ya'll..."Where do you live? Do you need a cab?"
"I live in Bowie, and No, I drove."
"So, your going New York Avenue?"
"Yes"
"Could you drop me off? I live right off of New Y0rk."

I begin to scream at the top of my lungs. (in my head)
This fool is crazy!!!!

I like my hair. Not 7 hours worth though

Myself Again (Just Stuff)

2007-04-18T09:41:00.000-04:00

"I"m Sorry"
"I'm Sorry, too"

That's all it took.

I feel like myself again.

Went to the gym.

I need to wear some bagging sweatpants next time. Them old men give me the creaps at 5 30 in the morning.

I'm energized.

I got to work on time. Not early. Not late. Just right.

I can't wait to get my wig tossed after work. I need a clean-up.

I spent $70.00 at the cleaners yesterday! I wish I could put my jeans in the wash. Can't risk it.
Don't wanna wake up one morning and not be able to pull them bad boys up cuz of shrinkage!

Don't you know i broke down last weekend? I mean I was doing some Vivian Greene Emotional Rollercoaster type stuff. I bought a new suit from Banana Republic Online. It came. I tried it on....too small. Too tight. Size 2 blazer. Size 4 skirt.
It just hit me. I will never be back there.
I just broke down. Crying.....and laughing cuz I'm crying.
This was also a bad day, cuz I was sore from exercising...remember me working out?
So, I'm in pain, my new suit is too small, and I had a revelation.
I just broke down. "I'm fat! I'm only 23! I haven't bore any children, yet!"
My mom was like "KC! Are you serious?...KC?...KC?
I didn't even know if I was serious. I was crying (I mean sobbing)...but I was laughing too
Very strange moment in time.
I know I'm not fat. I just remember a time when I didn't have to worry about something not fitting me.
My sis was home. She helped me realize how ridiculous I was being. I was glad to see her.

But, I'm myself again. I'm good.

Flaws and All

2007-04-17T13:57:00.000-04:00

I was so mean. I was so angry.

I didn't SAY anything. It was just my attitude.

Sometimes I get like that.

You just really irrated me last night. I'm not sure why.

I just wish you wouldn't play ALL the time.

I love when you play. I play too.

It was really weird. This feeling just overwhelmed me all of a sudden.

You said you felt like i was really bothered by you.

Not by you. By something.

I'm so retarded sometimes.

Who gets mad for no reason. or

Who gets mad and doesn't know the reason.

RE TAR DED

I'm a brat, though? WTF?

Maybe.

That was the water to the grease fire, right there.

It's so stupid.

I feel really bad.

Today, no one said anything about it.

There was no real argument.

We've never had a real argument.

Just silence.

That can't be good.

I don't talk...it doesn't help that you won't talk either.

Maybe because you don't know what to say.

You don't know how to respond because you don't know what you'd be responding to

I want to say I'm sorry. But, I don't know what I'm sorry for.

I shouldn't have to apologize for my feelings...

Maybe I should since I don't know where they came from.

When you talked to me today, it wasn't the same.

No "good morning, baby"

No laughing. I didn't get my morning laugh from you.

Same thing just a minute ago

Today sucks because of that.

I have to make it right.

I know your waiting for me to explain, say something, do something.

I guess I am responsible.

I need to see you today.

"Every now and then without warning...I can be really mean toward you" (Flaws and All)

On My Heart Today

2007-04-16T17:27:00.000-04:00

I'm a train wreck in the morning...

I'm a bitch in the afternoon...

Every now and then without warning...

I can be really mean toward you...

I'm a puzzle yes indeed...

Very complex in every way...

And all the pieces aren't even in the box...

And yet...

You see the picture clear as day...

I don't know why you love me...

And that's why I love you...

You catch me when I fall...

Accept me flaws and all...

And that's why I love you...

Beyonce "Flaws and All"

This is Me

2007-04-06T13:49:00.000-04:00

Remember young Forrest who had to have his legs straightened with braces. Well, I feel like I got em too.

My fat behind went to the gym yesterday morning and my personal trainer decides he wants to do a whole hour of leg exercises. By the end of the work-out I felt like my legs were going to buckle. That buckling feeling never went away. The degree changed significantly, though. What I wouldn't give to have the same degree of pain as yesterday.

It all started around 11:00pm last night. I was sitting in POSH (very cool restaurant...11th and H NW) with my dahling when suddenly I felt this horrid pain in my buttocks. I thought "boy, these booths aren't particularly comfortable." I then, I go to adjust myself, which requires me to move my legs, as soon as I do, this horrid pain shoots though my thighs (inner, outer, and in between). I squeal in unexpected agony. I draw attention to myself through-out the restaurant. The bar tender and hostess almost brake their necks trying to figure out who's causing chaos in their perfect little restaurant. A look of concern, embarrassment, and disbelief appear on my dahling's face. (in that order) But he understands my pain. His muscles are in shock too after his workout that day.

We start to get up to leave, and I am cursing out my personal trainer in my head for every minute he had me do squats and lunges. I want to cry my legs are in so much pain. Then I think to myself, "I haven't even gone to bed yet!...it's going to be pure hell in the morning!"

If you had been there when my dahling and I returned home, you would have been confused. We appeared to have been in some horrible brawl only there were no visible bumps and bruises. We looked like a couple of old people. Backs bent over. Walking with a limp. Slowly bracing ourselves to lay on the bed. Asking each other to get things for the other. "Owhoul...babe had me that..." and "Sweetie can you get me the........wheew!" Faces scrunched in pain. LOL. It was a sight to see.

The next morning, I wake up and of course the pain has been magnified 20 times 20. Forgive me ya'll for this but...I went to use the bathroom...oh my...well lets just say I have new profound gratefulness for working limbs. When I get done I have to rock back and forth for momentum to get off the toilet because I can't trust my legs to bring me up. Getting dressed WAS A CHORE.

And now I'm at work walking around like a cripple. Looking straight like young Forrest with braces on his legs.....matter fact...picture the walk of a 400 pound man with arthritis.

I can't wait to get home and not move a muscle.

Why?

2007-04-03T12:23:00.000-04:00

Now...I love my girl Bee but....dag...

Is anyone else sick of seeing her crawling on the floor/ground/bench/beach/car/...jay's lap?

This heffa's got like 7 new videos out and in EACH and EVERY one of them she is doin' the slow exaggerated crawl to get to.....nowhere.

Bee why are you crawling? In which part of the track did it express emotions to which one would respond with a slow crawl?

Her knees gotsta be black! Don't you think? I hope she's cocoabuttering them thangs up.

And the costuming sometimes is just so over the top. Now, I know she's sexy and all but dag...I just don't wanna see all that sometimes. I mean she could just cover up SOMETIMES! The "Greenlight" video really pissed me off! It was just too much. or maybe it's just because I was watching all the videos back to back. Whatever. I had had enough by the time I was finished.

But regardless of so much EXTRA Bee's got going on, she is still doin' it and I have much respect for her.

Bee... only in moderation.

Just Cuz....

2007-03-29T09:35:00.001-04:00

People always ask me why I don't audition for American Idol...

This guy is a mockery and now, so is the show.

Meet the Parents: Again

2007-03-27T10:45:00.000-04:00

My dahling is a Mama's boy. Not the irritating emasculating kind. The sweet, adorable, "of course, she brought you into this world" kind. And his Mama is a boy's mama. She has three. No girls. Mmmm Hmmm...ladies you know what I mean.

The first time I met her, my dahling had the nerve to bring me to his parent's house unannounced at night. He immediately thrusts me into one of the most uncomfortable situations I can remember being a part of.

I mean everything about this situation was all wrong. We enter the house (must've been around 9 or 10pm) his mother is relaxing...no let me be more clear....LAID OUT on the sofa watching television. He, my dahling, proceeds to give the most depressingly nonchalant introduction I have ever been on the other end of. (Let me just clarify...this occurrence took place BEFORE we were officially together or serious about the relationship because at any other time this would be a sure sign that "He's just not that into you" :)...I digress)

The introduction went a little something like this..."Heymathisiskc...I'mmagotakeashower."

AND...HE...LEFT...ME. Left me with is mother who was not expecting company, who probably had a long day at work and just wanted to watch her Boston Public in peace.

Now, if any of you know me well, you know that I'm not a big talker when I don't know someone. I'm not the type to strike up a conversation with a stranger. And if they strike up one with me it's probably going to be a bit one-sided if I'm not in an "open" mood.

N E way, He left me there with his mother and we just sat there. She watched her television show and I watched her watch her television show (The TV was in an awkward position opposed to me). I didn't want to say anything or disturb her, I mean, she wasn't expecting me to be there. And she definitely didn't say anything to me.

After that I'd see his mother in passing but never a one on one situation. I talked with one of his brother's ex-girlfriends and she told me it took years before she would say much of anything to her. Then, I new what kind of mother I was dealing with. I just concluded and became ok with the idea that it was just gonna take time, cuz I didn't plan on going anywhere anytime soon.

So Yesterday...
It was my dahling's birthday and I'm invited to dinner with his family. His mother asks me to come along. So, I'm thinking ok...I can do that family dinner...that's cool. I'm thinking his brother, his nephew, a few close friends...sounds like fun.....

uh yeah...how bout it. We pull up to the Charter House in Alexandria (very nice... on the water) and I'm like "is everybody waiting on us?" and he's like "everybody?" He proceeds to point at TWO figures standing in the distance. And I'm like..."it's just us?! You didn't tell me that!" He starts giggling 'n' crap talking bout some "gotcha!...this is payback for all the times I've been uncomfortable over your parents' house." So, as we continue to walk, I'm trying to get myself into "the intimate setting mode for parents." And was abruptly taken aback when his mother greets me with a hug and an "its so nice to see you again KC!"

Whoa!
I'm thinking..."did they already start drinking?" Needless to say there was more conversation going on between myself and his mother than our initial meeting.

(I'd just like to take this moment to thank a few people............................................... God, Oprah, and my mother. If it wasn't for them we would've had nothing to talk about.) And it was actually quite entertaining and I really enjoyed their company. So, we ended the evening and my dahling's mother made an effort to give out hugs and kisses upon our departure.

It was a true marking of the growth in our relationship.

P.S. Notice there wasn't much mention of the father in the equation. That's because as most of you already know...he doesn't matter. You know what I mean. The mother is the head honcho. She gives the thumbs up or thumbs down...just like in the gladiator movies. Do I die or do I live.
I think I'm still in the game, people. I'm still alive!

The Sun Has a Way About It

2007-03-22T14:33:00.000-04:00

The sun has a way of making you feel so good. I ate lunch at this restaurant outside today with a few co-workers and have miraculously come back refreshed and excited about.....nothing.

There isn't really anything coming up. I don't have any plans later on (except I will be seeing my dahling). But even so, I'm just so ..... I don't know.

This morning I was in such a sluggish mood. You all know how I feel about the 9-5, it was really starting to get to me. I was hating my job and hating this damned routine.

But after lunch. I'm ok. I know what I gotta do and it just put so many things into perspective. It doesn't happen over night. I have to be patient. Do what I gotta do to get where I wanna go.

I'm such an "i want it now" type of person.
I have to work on that.

Anyway, I hope it's this nice when I get off. I'd like to share the sun with my dahling.

20 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

2007-03-21T14:44:00.000-04:00

I could be extremely tired, but I was sitting at my desk cracking up with tears running down my face. Just what I needed. Hope you enjoy!

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want Fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the Opera.

13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work.

14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out at the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going
to have to let one of you go."

20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity: e-mail this to someone to make them smile and laugh.
It's called therapy.

I wrote a song while walking in the rain today

2007-03-16T13:46:00.000-04:00

Vibe: Billie Holiday
Jazz/Blues Cafe
Shuffle beat
Piano

Which way do I go
I don't know
I think I'll go....
Straight (no homo)
Which way to go

I think I just walked in a big circle
I'm sure I've seen this place before
Yet I am here
Knocking on the same door

Which way should I go
I don't know
Which way to go

Can't seem to find my way
Seems like I just can't win today
Don't wanna be late
Gotta big date
with...
big plans and
big dreams and
big thangs
to do...so

Which way do I go
I don't know
Which way to go
I -----------
don't
know

copywright March 16, 2007

I'm Focused Man!

2007-03-16T10:46:00.000-04:00

I'm really gonna get my act together guys. I woke one day last week, and was like...damn.."I only got 7 more years in my twenties." Now, that may sound like a lot to some of you "old folgies" out there but, to me, it just isn't. I've got so much I want to do. So many things I want to try before I turn 30.

I want to spread my wings as an artist. I want to do theatre, music, television..etc. And we all know that the long-lasting mainstream muscian, or actress ain't that long lasting. I don't mind doing small production, in fact, I think it's the more fulfilling way to go. It's just... I wanna taste what it's like. I'm not looking for superstardom...i just wanna peek into it for a minute.

So... I've made an appointment to take some photos...headshots, promotional. I'm gonna go something like this or like this A whole photoshoot. I'm working out my schedule with my personal trainer and have gotten together with a co-worker of mine who has the hook-up at a studio. (my god-father SAID he'd pay for my demo, we'll see) I'm being more conscious of those little tunes I make up in my head on an hourly basis (I never realized how much I do that) and I record them on my phone whenever I catch myself humming one.

Yes, Ladies and gentleman! I'm turning over a new leaf. I've been so lazy, since I've graduated. I need to get my hustle on. I just can't afford to slack anymore in life. It's time to get focused.

Ha U! Durin! (Norbit, in case u ain't get it)

2007-03-08T16:27:00.000-04:00

Take a look at this pic...
Notice the slim young hot thang to the far left in the pink shirt and jean skirt?....
Who in the heck is that?....Well dear friends that's me

...... about 8 years ago.

Jendayi, Kris, and Aunt Tricie pretty much look the same....
But me? Holy Moley! Such is not the case

What in the heck happened to THAT bod?

It's gone people....it's gone.....

I must get it back.

An additional goal for 2007

Stuff...

2007-03-07T10:54:00.000-04:00

Soo....

I'm back at the 9-5. I don't want to talk about it.

The tour was wonderful! I love that life man. The traveling, the meeting new and interesting people, the struggling, the ups and downs. It's just such a fun time. I already miss it. I really need to buckle down and figure out how I can make this thang happen..man. I need to get on it now before I accumulate more responsibilities that require me to stay in one place, like a husband, kids, a job. Performing, whether it be theatrical or musical is for me.

I got some stories to tell from that tour. That'll take more time than I have though. Be on the lookout!

My uncle said he would fund my demo. I need to get on the ball.

I have a myspace page too, now. It's very bootleg, but....whatever. Its amazing what you'll do to occupy yourself at your 9-5.
http://www.myspace.com/kceyzpage

So, I was reviewing some of my girls' blogs since I've been away for the past month or so. There was some talk about men and marriage. (If I knew how to do the link thing I would) Just wanna say, I feel your pain. Even though I am in a relationship the marriage thing is still....an issue. I had a discussion with my darling about my godbrother finally purposing to is girlfriend after 9 YEARS!
"Whats up with that?!" I asked....
he responds..."how old is he"
I say..."32"
Him: "That sounds about right"....
I'm like "WHAT?...ARE YOU SERIOUS?"
9 years people...that sounds good to him. So I begin to think. If 9 years sounds right to you...in 9 years you'll be.......................................................... 36 and Ill be..................................................32!
oh hell-to-the naw
I hate to talk about the age factor in regards to marriage, but its more about the time spent than it is about the age in which to get married. Why is it so hard to believe that you'll meet your life-mate at 23? Why do men and women (but mostly men) feel like that the age, the number of years spent on earth and not the number of years spen
Girls what do you think? We haven't had the marriage discussion yet, we haven't even done the I LOVE YOU thing yet. It's time for me to put some gas to this relationship. I need to stop being a punk and just start talking about all the stuff neither one of us wants to be the first to discuss. This is too much work.

I need to think.

Hello, My Name is K.C. and I'm A Shopaholic

2007-01-15T19:28:00.000-04:00

Today was my first day off in a long time where I didn't have anything to do....so I'm bored. Where does my azz go but to the dang blang mall.

And I mean, I don't got it like that. And when put into perspective, I'm struggling. I got student loans up the wazoo, I still need a car, and a house. What am I thinking about.

It's just sooo RI DIC U LOUS! Why can't I stop. I have no self-control. I am so weak.

But dag, how I love clothes. They do wonders for you when your having a bad day. When you look good, you feel good. Now, that ain't no lie.

But, I can't do it right now. I just have to think to myself...it'll come...it'll come. When you get yourself together...it'll come. I'mma return this stuff tomorrow....well...most of it anyway....

Gosh, I'm pathetic.

Chant it: NO NINE TO FIVE!

2007-01-12T11:44:00.000-04:00

Today is my last day at this 9-5 job. I'm grateful for the opportunity, but the 9-5 thing just ain't for me. I think I've always known it, even as a child. I think sometimes.."what's the point?" How are you living a life with a 9-5 job? Your whole being and existence is dictating by someone or something else.

You spend 8 or more hours of every day of your life in the same location, in the same seat, during the same time.

I know, I know...you gotta pay the bills, you gotta earn a living, you gotta survive. It just sucks is all I'm sayin.

So, I'm going on tour with a theatre company starting in a couple of weeks as well as working as the Director of Marketing. I create my own schedule, I get to travel around the country, while making a pretty good living. I say... this is the life for me. I'mma have to be a star and an entrepreneur. I gotta make this life work. Now, I'm not saying I'll never go back to the 9-5, cuz, in all honesty, it's not a stable condition to live in, but I just need a break from it all. And why not do it while I have no kids, no husband, and can just worry about me for a while.

Man, it's good to be single (unmarried) and free!

I Busted My Azz

2007-01-12T10:45:00.000-04:00

I didn't get to write about this yesterday.

I busted my azz in a major way. I mean I had one of those falls where you know if it had happened to someone else you'd be LYFAO.

So I'm late for work. (Classic hilarious scenario contributor #1) I get into my car and pull out of the garage hoping that the garage door opener/closer works today cuz it's colder than a reindeer's butt pulling Santa's sleigh. Of course it doesn't work and I have to get out of my car and bear the cold weather. So, I open the door and step out with much attitude, cussin' at technology when....

My cute knee boots that hold no friction against the pavement cause me to slip and slide my way to being laid out on the driveway. On my way down to heaven I managed to hit BOTH of my legs several times on side of the car door.

While a laid on my back in the driveway I prayed that this visual would just be between me and God and that none of my neighbors saw my horrendous spill. I lifted my head up, looked around, and realized there was a car on its way down the road. I thought to myself, "GET UP YOU CLUTS, A CAR, A CAR!" I scrambled to get up but as soon as I tried I felt.....THE PAIN....oh what a pain I had going up and down my legs. I lifted myself using the car door for support and dragged my battered body into the car.

I had to take a minute and reflect...."How in the heck did I manage to do that?"....all I could do is moan, hoping I didn't break my legs. I figured that since I could move my ankles, I must be o.k.

I closed the garage and headed to the office.

I had my knee boots on all day so I couldn't look at my legs until I got home. When I got home I took them off and notice that I have multiple black and blue bruises and what look like indentations on both legs. It looked like nothing less than a deformity. I ended up icing my legs all evening. Today... its funny

LET'S TRY IT AGAIN!

2007-01-11T18:15:00.000-04:00

I already wrote a blog today and somehow it magically disappeared. I still haven't completely figured out this blog thing and it's possible that you won't see another post from me for another few days...weeks....months...but here it goes anyway.

Love. Peace. Napiness.